loving provision.

from my daily sanctuary:
i must admit, i am more confident that You love me when i see enough money coming in to pay the bills each month, when the basement does not leak every time it rains, when the doctor's report is good. it's not hard to be convinced of Your love when all the vital signs are stable.
i am of my generation. but i am of Your generation too. i sit on a grassy knoll in the remote plains of the decapolis. i have come to hear You teach, yes, but i am also here to see the signs. signs are important for belief. otherwise, how will i know for sure?
You don't disappoint me. it's been three days since my last meal. my stomach is empty. the breadbaskets are empty, and it's a long way to the nearest bakery. now would be a good time to recieve a sign, Lord. i need bread. i shoot a one-minute prayer arrow straight to heaven: "help needed, Lord, send the bread like You did for moses and the people of israel. manna from heaven. good for the body. good for the soul. good for my faith."
You send the love sign, stroll through the crowd producing bread as though You'd been elbow deep in yeast since two this morning. i fill my plate. stuff my pockets. take some extra just in case. there's plenty for all. Your love is lavish.
i feel hugged by heaven. reaffirmed by the sign. renewed in conference that You do love me and remember me when i am sitting far away from the bakery, without any bread. "what a God of love!" i write in my journal. i am comfortably satisfied and strong in faith.


the thursday thirty, issue eleven.

yeah yeah, i know it's a full week after thanksgiving - and it's almost the end of this thursday as it is. nevertheless, this thursday thirty only feels appropriate if it outlines 30 things for which i'm thankful - part of a much longer list in itself. :)
1. having a relationship with the Father & Son.
2. inheriting one-half of each of my parents' qualities.
3. having siblings to admire & count on.
4. bearing the title of 'peanut' to my four fantastic nieces!
5. having been raised in a small town.
6. having teachers throught elementary/high school who genuinely cared for me, and still being overjoyed to see them when i return to my hometown.
7. the opportunities i have had to travel & experience so many cultures at such a young age.
8. the other opportunities i have had to excel in academics, & for those who believed in me along the way
9. getting accepted to my dream college, receiving scholarships to make that dream a reality, and for having professors here who are committed to our success and growth.
10. the mentors who have carried me through some of my darkest days, & who have been there to rejoice with me in my sweetest ones.
11. never having to go without what i need.
12. having access to loads of information at my fingertips - i mean, can you imagine having to write college term papers withOUT internet databases?!
13. sweet tea. :D
14. a passion for frugality & stewardship.
15. a closet full of clothes.
16. a pantry & fridge full of good food.
17. the blessed assurance that His plan for me is perfect, even when i try and nudge Him to move things along a little more quickly. :)
18. the home i have found at lifechurch.tv, & the multiple ministries i have gotten to serve in there.
19. the switch small group of 8th-grade girls that i get to lead!
20. the beauty of my state.
21. how He has worked through my mom's recent diagnosis. we have so much to be thankful for during this season.
22. the lifelong circle of friends God's given to me, both in high school & at obu.
23. the time i spent in mexico & turkey on mission.
24. red dirt music... if i can say that? :)
25. my esl students in the intensive english program.
26. southern cookin'.
27. the feeling i get when i drive in the country.
28. the friendships twittering has fostered!
29. that everyone in my immediate family lives within two hours or so of campus. this has literally been a lifeline for me while in college.
30. every heartbreak & lesson learned, as much as i try to deny it sometimes. i couldn't very well be me without 'em, right?