the same power.

last night was beautiful.
i admit, after a year and a half of non-stop serving with three different ministries at lifechurch.tv, burnout was creeping in. in the middle of worship at switch last night, however, He so graciously reminded me why i do what i do week after week there - to pray over and share my story with students He has entrusted to me. i ache for the future of our church to claim and fully understand that the same power that conquered the grave lives in them, that the Love which rescued the earth resides also in their core. what mountains could be moved if they believed these truths! they are so powerful and are being prepared for such giant feats, and i wish they realized the victory that they possess.
as the message moved toward the subject of purity and heart-mending in light of past mistakes, i just wasn't sure i could make it. another leader and i held each other, knowing the moment He wanted us to share our stories with the girls in our small groups and spheres of influence was soon coming. i used to fight that, and at times i still do in fear of the judgment which seems to plague our christian culture so heavily. but with my girls, letting go of secrecy's comfort didn't compare with communicating the truth that they own the power to overcome an entangling past and the power to change their future. [and yes, i'm aware that all of this sounds very life coach-esque. :)]
see? this is why i just can't give up that servin' stuff. it breaks me, pushes me, and asks me to rearrange my life almost daily - and i fear who i might be if i didn't let Him take over my pretty little schedule like that. =)

faith's fine lines.

what a week. the previous seven days were overrun by sickness, brief hospital stints, recovery, near-fatal exams, and getting my laughter back. what a week. i'm proud to have survived it, and thankful that spring break will be showing its glowing self soon. fishing and target shooting with my dad in the boondocks, a mission experience with my switch kids, and seeing some old friends are sure to refresh me for what is left of this semester. then, of course, the two papers i also have to knock out will snap me back to academic reality. oh well. sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.
i have a deep and important favor to ask of y'all. my presentation over public schools' accommodation of religious practices for my church/state class is swiftly approaching, and i'm dying to hear some outside opinions on a few issues i'm examining. i would love, love, love to hear your thoughts, so please share them with me in a comment if you get a spare moment!

• some public schools with significant muslim populations are now providing rooms for students to perform their obligatory prayers in and are being excused from class periods to do so. is this at all a promotion of religion, or is this accommodation acceptable?
• the university of michigan's deerborn campus has pledged $25,000 of student fee dollars to construct foot-washing stations in bathrooms for muslim students who must perform this ritual cleansing before prayer. walking a fine line, or promoting safety and sanitation for those who would otherwise be forced to wash their feet in sinks?
• christmas programs are a longstanding tradition in many schools, filled with both secular symbols and faith-based carols. should kwanza and hanukkah programs also be held? is a "christmas" concert or program a violation of the establishment clause?
• the head scarf, or hijab, that many girls in islam are required to wear has become a hot-button issue with public american schools. an elementary student in muskogee, oklahoma, was suspended several years ago for violating her school's head covering policy with her hijab, and her plight was eventually supported by the federal government. should religious wear be exempt from these policies?

the unrelieved quest.

from today's passage in oswald chambers' my utmost for His highest:

feed My sheep. // john 21:17
this is love in the making. the love of God is tin-made, it is God's nature. when we receive the Holy Spirit, He unites us with God so that His love is manifested in us. when the soul is united to God by the indwelling Holy Spirit, that is not the end; the end is that we may be one with the Father as Jesus was. what kind of oneness had Jesus Christ with the Father? such a oneness that the Father sent Him down here to be spent for us, and He says - "as the Father hath sent Me, even so send I you."
peter realizes now with the revelation of the Lord's hurting question that he does love Him; then comes the point - "spend it out." don't testify how much you love Me, don't profess about the marvellous revelation you have had, but - "feed My sheep." and Jesus has some extraordinarily funny sheep, some bedraggled, dirty sheep, some awkward, butting sheep, some sheep that have gone astray! it is impossible to weary God's love, and it is impossible to weary that love in me if it springs from the one center. the love of God pays no attention to the distinctions made by natural individuality. if i love my Lord i have no business to be guided by natural temperament; i have to feed His sheep. there is no relief and no release from this commission. beware of counterfeiting the love of God by working along the line of natural human sympathy, because that will end in blaspheming the love of God.

the thursday thirty, issue six.

this life is a beautiful one, and here are just some of the things/moments/people that have made these past several weeks all that they were. perhaps they all add up to thirty, perhaps a few more or less.. but i hope you are able to identify with a few of these smile-makers nevertheless. :]

• for my birthday earlier this month, my precious mom sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers - the first time i've ever had them delivered! after a mix-up [or should i say fiasco!] with fed-ex, i got a bonus bouquet from the flower company. here they are! almost three weeks later, they're still lookin' good!

• i wish you could meet my nieces and spend even five minutes in a room with all three of them. as they approach their 4th birthdays this summer, it seems like zoey, sydni, and kaitlyn keep getting sweeter and livlier every time i see 'em. if you haven't already, go read my last blog post about a story from kaitlyn. and pray for my mom and i as we babysit all three of them while my siblings have a night out - at a rick springfield concert, no less. ;) i can't wait until my fourth niece, ari jade, finally arrives in june! a whole gaggle of little girls - what could be better?

my brother and the girls sent me a care package for my birthday, complete with drawings! is it just me, or does zoey's seem to have a picture of that creepy guy on lord of the rings?!

• teaching conversation labs with our international students in the intensive english program is such a blessing [and i'm even more blessed to teach them with my roommate and best friend!]. this semester, we've had a blast with students new and old. the pictures below are of our level 3 class playing phase 10 and the level 4's creations for our lesson on invitations and appointments. we have too much fun most days. :)

[bahaha. kelly's is the 'aztec party,' just so you know. and the green one is complements of sergej, a student from bosnia. he apparently is hosting a dance party. and he's a sexy machine. geez.]

• oh, the oscars. it was a privilege to watch it with my dear friends and compete in a nominee poole with them - even though addi won, i'm not sour. *ahem* :) if you didn't watch it live or haven't had the opportunity to youtube the acceptance speeches yet, go here and here!
• le roi soleil is perhaps the most beautiful theatric creation of the century, and our french club got to watch this musical about louis xiv last week. oh man. you need to buy it. and a special french dvd to watch it on... or just stick with the youtube clips!

• speaking of french club, our mardi gras get-together was this tuesday, of course, and brought with it my first king cake experience - in which a plastic baby is hidden inside a cake [strange, i know!] - and mask construction with kelly and sebastien. yes, we get wild here at obu. =)

• my tesol [teaching english to speakers of other languages] methods class, though it soars over my head most days, is still one of my favorites. and because i'm such an organizing freak, assembling our portfolios [which will be in this giant red file box] and compiling my own binder of goodies for teaching in the binder are actually becoming fun assignments. class... fun... who knew?

• bows are back in. wear 'em proud, girls.

• and i love my roommate. here is just one of many reasons why. :)

kitchen courage.

wanna hear a good story?

thought so.

my family is all about reminding one another to "make good choices," and if you've ever heard me talk to my nieces on the telephone, you know this is something my siblings ask me to reaffirm during everyday conversations. in between time-outs and crying episodes over missing any action with a nap, good choices are still a big chunk of their conduct. my girls are so sweet and brilliant, and i couldn't wait to jot this story down to show you just how valid my bias is. :)

earlier this week, as my sister picked up kaitlyn belle from pre-school, kaitlyn very quickly admitted, "mom, i made a bad choice today. i was mean to emily and wouldn't share while we were playing at the kitchen."

my sister, who has always prided herself on talking to kaitlyn in a very mature manner, thanked her for her honesty and explained how important it was to make things right by apologizing to emily the following day.

"but mom, i'm scared." here is where miss belle apparently had a very grief-stricken expression on her face. sweet girl.

"i know, honey. it's sometimes hard and scary to ask someone to forgive you, but it's the right thing to do. you'll be so proud of yourself when it's done."

though it took my sweet girl another day to work up the courage to approach emily at the play-kitchen area, she couldn't wait to tell her proud mama the results.

"mom! i apologized to emily today! she hugged me and told me, 'it's okay - we're still best friends'!"

oh, to be three years old again and have the world fall into place while playing house. i'm so proud.

what would our lives look like if we weren't afraid to admit transgression and ask for someone's forgiveness?

the thursday thirty, issue five.

i'm such a bookworm. it's been a trait of mine since before i even truly learned how to read, when i decided to carry around a 99 cent dictionary everywhere i possibly could - never mind if i could actually pronounce any of the words it contained. i hope my love for prose never ceases, and in honor of that, here are 30 of my favorite books.

• anne of green gables // lucy maud montgomery
• rachel's tears // beth nimmo & darrell scott
• my utmost for His highest // oswald chambers
• a long way gone // ishmael beah
• the pillars of the earth // ken follett
• the green book // elizabeth rogers & tom kostiken
• the challenge of missions // oswald j. smith
• walking on water // madeline l'engle
• the sisterhood of the traveling pants series // anne brashares [don't judge me...]
• the other boleyn girl // philippa gregory
• breaking free // beth more
• to kill a mockingbird // harper lee
• the canterbury tales // geoffrey chaucer
• the historian // elizabeth kostova
• the kite runner // khaled hosseini
• velvet elvis // rob bell
• the poisonwood bible // barbara kingsolver
• abundance // sena jeter naslund
• prisoners of hope // dana curry & heather mercer
• kingdom ethics // glen stassen & david gushee
• blue highways // william least heat-moon
• cold mountain // charles frazier
• divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood // rebecca wells
• love you forever // robert munsch [who said children's books couldn't be on the list? :D]
• authentic beauty // leslie ludy
• four souls // matt kronberg, jedd medefind, mike peterson, & trey sklar
• the diary of anne frank
• she said yes // misty bernall
• the daily round [this devotional from the 1800's is one of my favorite flea market finds.]
• the mates, dates, and inflatable bras series // cathy hopkins [mmhmm.]

any of these look familiar? what's your favorite book?

o, israel.

how closely our own stories resemble that of israel's. i pray this chapter from the prophet hosea will challenge and permeate you tonight.
//
"when israel was a child, I loved him, and I called My son out of egypt.
but the more I called to him, the farther he moved from Me,
offering sacrifices to the images of baal and burning incense to idols.
I myself taught israel how to walk, leading him along by the hand.
but he doesn't know or even care that it was I who took care of him.
I led israel along with my ropes of kindness and love.
I lifted the yoke from his neck,
and I myself stooped to feed him.

but since My people refuse to return to me, they will return to egypt
and will be forced to serve assyria.
war will swirl through their cities;
their enemies will crash through their gates. they will destroy them,
trapping them in their own evil plans.
for My people are determined to desert me.
they call Me the Most High, but they don't truly honor Me.
oh, how can I give you up, israel?
how can I let you go?
how can I destroy you like admah or demolish you like zeboiim?
My heart is torn within me, and My compassion overflows.
no, I will not unleash my fierce anger.
I will not completely destroy israel,
for I am a God and not a mere mortal.
I am the Holy One among you, and I will not come to destroy.
for someday the people will follow Me. I, the LORD, will roar like a lion.
and when I roar, My people will return trembling from the west.
like a flock of birds, thy will come from egypt. trembling like doves, they will return from assyria.
and I will bring them home again," says the Lord.
[hosea 11]