musings on modesty.

my dear friend sebastien has finally provided a voice of reason amidst the hot debate on modesty at obu. below you will find a tongue-in-cheek editorial from a man's outlook - something long awaited and vitally needed in the often catty, female-dominated dispute over what is and isn't modest. i hope you too can get a little giggle and some perspective on the responsibilities both genders have in keeping our thoughts in check.

-

musings on the “modest” girls of OBU:
baptist girls are an odd lot. okay, maybe not all of them, but there are enough here at OBU to at least merit a mention. i’ve heard numerous girls talk about and read a few blogs about girls causing their “brothers” to “stumble.” for those of you who don’t know what i’m talking about, let me fill you in. these girls feel as if wearing clothing that isn’t completely covering all of their body below their neck and above the elbows and knees is causing troublesome distractions to guys. tt makes them fall by the wayside. it leads them away from their journey with God. they talk about guys as if they’re these poor creatures who can’t handle seeing a collarbone or who will fall away from God if they catch a glimpse of cleavage. some even go as far as to proclaim that guys have it far worse than girls, saying that they can’t do much in their manner of dress to make a girl stumble.
please.
i have female friends “stumbling” all over the place thanks to guys.
apparently guys are akin to some poor child who just can’t help himself, as if he may go hire a prostitute or get a girl pregnant after seeing a female student wearing heels or a skirt that’s above the knees. the guys just see that and lose their minds, i suppose.
others make promises to never intentionally make a “brother” “stumble”. i promise you that guys can handle your clothing. none of the girls here at OBU wear anything that scandalous. i also promise you that if a girl wears clothing that is flattering to her body, that can present just as much of a danger, whether she is showing cleavage or not. a girl who dresses for her body is going to get noticed, skin or not.
what i find worse is that some of these girls then target other girls in the school who, painful as it may sound, dress better than them - girls who take care of themselves and take pride in how they look. these “modest” girls write hateful things that are very clearly intended for specific people, thinking that they’re doing it for a greater good. they make snide comments to the faces of girls who wouldn’t dress scandalous if their lives depended on it, because they think their top is too low or showing too much skin. they make themselves feel like they’re the better person because they chose not to put forth any thought into what would look good.they quote scripture, using verses like 1 timothy 2:9-10, saying not to "braid your hair or wear gold or pearls," and 1 thessalonians 4:7, saying that "God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. " i don’t know if that’s an attempt to equate dressing nice with being impure , but i know you’d be hard pressed to find a female anywhere that hasn’t worn gold or pearls. not all Bible verses are still relevant to our times.
having said all of that, here is my proposal for you girls. wear a potato sack. wear big sweatshirts and oversize jeans. give up makeup and don’t even think of shaping your eyebrows. stop getting haircuts to accent your features. buy all of your clothing 3 sizes larger than normal. don’t wear anything that clings to your body or curves in any way, please, for we may stumble. and to those of you promising to never make us stumble: fear not, you probably never have.

faith's fine lines.

what a week. the previous seven days were overrun by sickness, brief hospital stints, recovery, near-fatal exams, and getting my laughter back. what a week. i'm proud to have survived it, and thankful that spring break will be showing its glowing self soon. fishing and target shooting with my dad in the boondocks, a mission experience with my switch kids, and seeing some old friends are sure to refresh me for what is left of this semester. then, of course, the two papers i also have to knock out will snap me back to academic reality. oh well. sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.
i have a deep and important favor to ask of y'all. my presentation over public schools' accommodation of religious practices for my church/state class is swiftly approaching, and i'm dying to hear some outside opinions on a few issues i'm examining. i would love, love, love to hear your thoughts, so please share them with me in a comment if you get a spare moment!

• some public schools with significant muslim populations are now providing rooms for students to perform their obligatory prayers in and are being excused from class periods to do so. is this at all a promotion of religion, or is this accommodation acceptable?
• the university of michigan's deerborn campus has pledged $25,000 of student fee dollars to construct foot-washing stations in bathrooms for muslim students who must perform this ritual cleansing before prayer. walking a fine line, or promoting safety and sanitation for those who would otherwise be forced to wash their feet in sinks?
• christmas programs are a longstanding tradition in many schools, filled with both secular symbols and faith-based carols. should kwanza and hanukkah programs also be held? is a "christmas" concert or program a violation of the establishment clause?
• the head scarf, or hijab, that many girls in islam are required to wear has become a hot-button issue with public american schools. an elementary student in muskogee, oklahoma, was suspended several years ago for violating her school's head covering policy with her hijab, and her plight was eventually supported by the federal government. should religious wear be exempt from these policies?

twenty.

it's true. as of yesterday, i am no longer a teen. :-D and i owe an extravagant and joyous birthday weekend to my dear friends here at obu - and my sweet mama who sent me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. i cannot wait to snap a photo of it once all of the buds bloom!

well, in case you ever wanted to know what goes on during one's birthday in our circle of friends, here is the inside look.

a lively bunch at abuelita rosa's serenaded me friday evening. i could not contain me glee!

kelly and addison are perhaps two of the most precious people i know. after pigging out with jake and some new guy on the baseball team, we retired to watch an andy warhol bio that left us puzzled.

even the colonel decided to get in on the fun.

mmhmm.

last night capped off the elaborate weekend, as we cheered on our obu bison at the basketball game, then took over the local chili's with kelly, addi, moi, sebastien, anastasia, curtis, kyle, katie, and taylor d. [yes, i am aware you know none of these individuals, but listing them like that makes it look like i have an entourage.]

i am so blessed.

phone-a-thon adventures.

while taking a fast-paced world religions course this month during j-term, i also have ventured into the world of telephone solicitation. oh yes, friends, i have become one of those. here at oklahoma baptist university, we use our j-term phone-a-thon to raise moolah for the school's general scholarship/material/random need fund. in my little cubicle, i dial alumni and friends from across the nation, tactfully and cheerfully reciting the same little phrases. this mundane process has proved to be surprisingly eye-opening, and dare i say even a wee bit enjoyable. we win coveted packets of shawnee mills mixes and sonic coupons by playing hangman and trivia games, and the competition for most pledges per evening is quite fierce. there are even cookies and sweet tea provided for us every night, which makes this endeavor oh so worthwhile. :] it never fails, however, that i get a few alumni on the other end of the telephone who choose the following reactions:

#1: the "nobody-can-hear-me-through-the-phone" alumni
"hello?"
"hi! may i speak to joe schmo?"
"who is this?"
"my name is taylor phillips and i'm a student calling from oklahoma baptist university."
"hold on." .... a whispered conversation will take place, in which one spouse tells the other obu is on the phone. he/she will then respond with, "they're just lookin' for money. hang up."
....
"he's not here."
click.

#2: the former donor who just raises my hopes too high
"hello?"
"hi! may i speak to joe schmo?"
"speaking."
"hello, my name is taylor phillips and i'm a student calling from oklahoma baptist university. how are you this evening?
"fine."
"great! if you have just a moment, i'd like to speak with you about the obu fund, which i see you have donated $1,000 to in the past five years. would you consider making another gift this year?"
"nah, i think we'll pass this year. but thanks!"
click.

#3: the "i'm-too-busy-to-talk...but-i-still-answered-my-phone" alumni
[sigh] "hello?"
"hi! may i speak with blah blah?"
"this is she."
"hello, my name is blah blah blah. how are you this evening?"
"pretty good. you?"
"great, thank you for asking! i'm calling on behalf of the obu fund. do you have just a minute to talk about that?"
"oh. ... actually, i'm putting my kids to bed."
click.

#4: the "i'm-angry-you're-interrupting-american-idol" alumni
"yeah?"
"hi! may i speak with blah blah blah."
"just a sec."
"hello?"
"hi, my name is blah blah blah. how are you?"
"good."
"great! i'm calling on behalf of the obu fund. do you have just a minute to speak with me about it?"
"no, thank you. why are you calling on the american idol premier night?!"
click.

#5: the "i-think-obu-sucks-now" alumni
[insert usual introduction here]
"honey, i will never give to obu, and i'd be glad to tell you why."
"alri-"
"i was a missionary with the southern baptist convention for 33 years, and i was fired after all that time for not signing the baptist faith and message because it's oppressive to women. as long as obu is supported by the sbc, i cannot give with a clean conscience. are you a missions major?"
"um, yes actually."
"oh dear. sweetheart, you gotta make some decisions early on."

friends, these are just some of the many conversations i've had in the last two weeks. don't be fooled, not all of my phone-a-thon nights have been this negative. i have been blessed with many wonderful conversations and lots of coupons and cornbread. :] but these adventures in phone calls have prompted me to ponder my past and future reactions to telemarketers or my gift-seeking alma mater. i now know how frustrating it can be to be hung up on, and to go through scores of alumni and not have one pleasant exchange [bear in mind they all graduated from a christian university...]. i sure hope this lesson in patience has also taught me to remember these very phone-a-thon adventures when i myself am called up by a poor college student who's just doing their job.
so what about y'all? have you ever taken a job as a phone-caller or been on the receiving end of a telemarketer? how did you react in various situations?

the farewell tour.

okay addison, i'm copying some of your creativity today! slipping into another january is always an exciting, unknown moment. and, being my retrospective self, i'd like to pass along a few things that made this year what it was. i have a whole new appreciation for the past twelve months after looking back at this list. =)

• began my second semester of college with a break-up i thought would surely kill me
• took my first class in the honors program at obu
• maintained a 4.0
• initiated my last year as an official teen in february
• experienced further heartbreak from my first love
• attended the memorial service of his precious little cousin on my birthday
• realized i had the most loving and supportive friends and family [once again] as a result of my darkest hour
• spent priceless weekends with family who had been on the west coast for far too long :]
• had a good ole red dirt night at a randy rogers band concert with my best hometown friends
• initiated into the phi eta sigma national honor society
• continued serving with switch at lifechurch.tv and discovered amazing ministry opportunities
• went on a mission trip to eureka springs with my switch kids
• helped construct a kickin' gravel driveway on said mission trip =)
• drove to phoenix with my sister, niece, and mom, and watched my sweet cousin marry his soulmate under palm trees
• got published in the bison
• played on a few slot machines with my mom and her best friend from college, hehehe
• experienced a medical scare that tested me financially and spiritually
• watched my brother successfully run his second full marathon - complete with hand-painted signs and loud cheers at almost every mile marker =)
• received scholarships that were blissfully unexpected
• watched a dear friend from back home graduate and accomplish great things
• craved an apology which i was sure would fix everything
• served as a team leader for the first time at super summer
• received the apology i had been craving, and remained unsatisfied
• lived in edmond for a summer
• became a member of the lifechurch.tv prayer team
• saw another close friend marry the sweetest girl in all of texas
• worked at a new place may through august and met splendid new people
• began doing on-stage activities at switch
• witnessed the greatest fireworks show of my life on independence day
• served as a sponsor for the first time at falls creek
• went to the mountain view-gotebo free fair and saw many old friends
• started serving at fuse
• began my third semester of college
• caught the domestic bug
• started teaching conversation classes with the international students at obu
• became the switch what's next coordinator
• began a new job at the wellness center
• went on a retreat with sweet friends and opened up my heart
• participated in my first race for the cure with my family
• spent fall break with my mom on a girls' trip to branson
• published in the bison again
• voted in my first presidential election
• learned how to play texas-hold-'em
• learned my sister is pregnant again!
• survived my first semester of western civ with an a
• realized i won't find happiness if i won't let go
• rekindled an old, dear friendship
• wrote a blues song =)
• learned a few french phrases
• maintained a 4.0 again
• discovered a love for the food network
• played the heck out of hungry hungry hippos with my precious nieces

on prayer, fear, and love that won't let go.

i have so much to say and so little ability with which to articulate it all. amidst a busy weekend of studying for what just might be the death of me, a welcomed break came in the form of such a familiar routine today: church. [i know, routine is such an awful word to describe the assembly of His body, but don't you agree that at times we allow it to get that way? i'll add that to an ever-growing list of things to erradicate for 2009.] i love my church and have invested alot of time and effort into the goings-on there that i am passionate about. this particular morning evoked such a tidal wave of emotions that i certainly was not expecting, and i fear that if i do not take the time to record it all, it will soon become just another sunday that i pack away into a box. so, here goes.
the worship set was gorgeous-as always-with an unplugged version of some of my favorite christmas songs. i had almost forgotten this was the weekend for child dedications, though, and as the first noel began its first few chords, couples began assembling on the stage with their precious babies and toddlers in tow. the entire concept of dedicating one's life to raising his or her child in the ways of God and making that commitment publically is so radically wonderful. i couldn't stop smiling at the sweet baby girl who looked in kelly and i's direction as her mom bounced her softly, and i almost thought happy tears were going to flow if i didn't swallow that lump in my throat. but then i felt a twinge of sadness, envy even. i stared at all of the beautiful couples and their perfect gifts and wondered if i would ever get to stand in their shoes. this is a fear which plagues me almost daily, in which i picture myself perpetually unwed and, as surely will follow, alone. my joy for my siblings' and friends' families sometimes turns to an embarassing, private jealousy and sorrow for what i fear i may never get to experience.
the message, i then thought, would surely take my mind off of this little fear. we started our second week of a phenomenal series on prayer, and as i began circling the verses we referenced, God peeled back my blinders to new truths i needed to understand. craig told us that our relationships with others have a huge impact on our prayer life. simple, right? but i, presumed to be semi-mature in the realm of spiritual things, never before considered how my grudges effect my communication with God. mark 11:25 says, "but when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." oh brother. so this means i have to let go of the things he did and said that continue to cause my heart so much hurt? will You empower me to release my bitterness for this heartache and forgive him? my mind raced and was, at the same time, filled with peace. the next part of the message led us to proverbs, where He confronted me with a verse that wasn't even part of our study! proverbs 16:1 spoke directly to the fear i let steal my joy earlier during worship: "we can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer." my plans of marriage and motherhood may or may not be in His framework for my life, and ultimately it is His answer to that prayer that is right. oh brother againnnnn.
next came fuse, the fifth and sixth grade ministry i and my college friends serve with after our own church experience. what was the message in there about? fear. that's right. triple whammy. at the conclusion of the video teaching, brian asked if we would allow our fear to keep us from experiencing the adventures of life that are right before us. no, i thought, no they won't. i still strongly desire to fall in love again and have it last forever, to bring children into a home of faith and love. but i also have to accept that whether or not that falls in line with God's plan for my life, i will be okay.
so, while i may have a few tears in the shower tonight, i will eventually wipe them away and remember that God did not give me a spirit of fear or timidity. i will try my darndest to play with and love on my nieces without pausing to remind myself that i may never have a daughter of my own. i will go to my friends' beautiful weddings and not feel heavy-hearted at the possibility i may never wear that dress. i will remember that i have an amazing circle of family and dear friends who give me constant laughter, and a future that will likely bring me more adventure than i can fathom now. and i will realize that the greatest Love of all has been mine all along.

keeping me alive.

i really want to rip my hair out.

or just rip up my textbooks.
either one.
finals will convene this coming monday, and i am nothing short of terrified and optimistic. nice combo, eh? i do believe western civilization might bring about my before-20th-birthday nervous breakdown, and i still cannot feel anything less than love for the class. it is difficult, it is demanding, and it is passion-evoking at every end. i have learned so much and been challenged more in this course than any other. it is a year-long class which synthesizes history and literature, and is a unique thread of obu, and to pass it by even if i were able would be such a mistake. so, as i cram a semester's worth of the roman empire, paradise lost, and the enlightenment into my brain - along with a little french, art history, and the synoptic Gospels - i will remember to stop and rejoice in the small, lovely things too. would you like to hear of them? i thought so.
after spending a sleepless night listening to the wind howl like a banshee through my semi-broken window, my roommate and i will tonight be the proud occupants of a silent night, thanks to a campus maintenance guy with some mean sealant. our dorm's hot water is up and at 'em again too! rejoice! i have renewed hope now. :]
did i mention my siblings are wildly talented and successful in every way? my sister, who was also ranked as one of the top ten mammographers in the nation for two consecutive years, won a prestigious award at her new company, oklahoma breast care center, last night. after only being their director of patient care for the past year, she has already turned the program around. i'm so proud of her. she did the same thing at her former center in seattle, so anything less than greatness is unknown to her. =) my brother, who is on our governor's security detail, will accompany him to the presidential inaugural ball in january - how amazing is that?! i'm so proud of him as well. here is a photograph of our family, minus dad and my brother-in-law who is behind the camera, at my brother's first marathon last year. ain't we cute? knowing i will always be able to come home to these faces, one way or another, keeps me alive.

coverage.

lookin' for some awe-inspiring stuff to light your fire this week? then have i got a list for you! somewhere in the middle of tests about the renaissance, western art, and the living God - not to mention a few papers about gothic architecture and the canterbury tales - i have come across some goodies which have provided such a blessed break-up of the mundane. and what kind of southern girl would i be if i didn't spread the love around?

-projects:
soles4souls, a charity based in nashville, is currently holding a challenge to send 50,000 pairs of shoes in 50 days to bless those who desperately need shoes around the world. many of the recipients of these gifts have never experienced having such a simple yet vital possession. over 300 million people worldwide are forced to walk in unsafe and potentially life-threatening conditions because they lack this basic necessity. donating just $5 to this cause will provide two people overseas with a pair of shoes.as of this post, there are 42 days left in the challenge. 4,800 shoes have already been donated, and you could be a part of this with such a small sacrifice. as little as $5 can change so much - won't you be a part of this with me?

-quotes:[these are words that have come to me at just the right moments, during this week and the past few. these may not speak to any particular situation you're experiencing, but i can't help but share them anyway!]

"single ladies…no matter what you’ve been through…you are NOT damaged goods! God STILL has a plan for your life…and you are SO WORTH THE PURSUIT of a man who is willing to fight to win your heart…do NOT SETTLE for a boy who wants to use you, wait for a man who will esteem you!" // perry noble

"you have a powerful story, and somewhere along the way you believed a lie that you have to pay for the sins of your past. the shame that you carry for the "bad" things you have done and the burden of the sin of your past are not from God. Jesus to paid for those sins with a very high price, which more than covers your sin no matter how bad you think it might be. you holding onto shame from your past gives power to the struggle and hinders the power of what Christ has done for you. you have all authority over the past and your pain and your shame. shame is not from God. He gives you grace and grace in abundance. His grace is sufficient for you.
you have a powerful story, and God wants to use the very specific things you have done to bring Him glory. He wants to use the things you have done to set people free from the very same things you struggled with. this is a part of a process that God has you on, and that process is different for everyone. some people need prayer of deliverance, some people need to make restitution, some people need to forgive themselves. it's very different for everyone." // lori boucher

go here to read a quote by marianne williamson, which my beautiful suitemate and best friend has posted in our bathroom to remind each of us they our "playing small does not serve the world." i hope you, too, claim this truth as your own!

-blog posts: [take note of a few postings i have adored this week so far.]
elohim - my friend addison is such a beautiful person and writer. the words you'll read here expose just a tiny portion of that!
the ties that bind - rachel has articulated everything i have felt this past year and of what i need to let go of. my own "soul tie" has rendered me paralyzed for far too long. traveling light sounds like such a good idea today. =)

-books:[i know, the pleasure of reading sure seems like a distant memory most days for us. but just in case the free time to enjoy a book shows up again soon, here are a few titles that have rocked my world lately.]




living the sermon on the mount - this book, by glen stassen, was assigned in my life of Christ class. though a hard read at times, it is a powerful examination of Jesus' words that were meant to transform our lives.
the green book - i wish i was a hippie. if you read this book, you'll become one. just kidding - but you really will learn of some practical ways to leave a better mark on the world!
walking on water - it's been awhile since i last read this book, but it is something i feel i must promote regardless. madeline l'engle shares gorgeous reflections of faith's influence on life and art. keep a pen or highlighter handy as you read through this one! [p.s. my favorite singer, nichole nordeman, wrote the forward for this book's latest printing!]

-music:
i'm not gonna lie, taylor swift's new album fearless has been ringing in my head since it's release last week. as i was sitting in my dorm's hall lobby several days back, i heard "love story" being sung at the top of a group of girls' lungs. i laughed at the time, only because i knew i had done the same thing in my own car not a few hours before. =)

[for links to all of these titles, please click on their pictures in the widget carousel on the left side of the screen!]

crumbs from your table.

i cannot begin to tell you how much i have enjoyed my life of Christ class this semester. at first thought, i was sure this course would reenforce all of the sunday school truths i learned as a kid, and that there wouldn't be many further earth-shattering revelations for me to discover. there are few times when i rejoice at being wrong; this is one of them. :]
i am amazed at how laying out the synoptic Gospels next to each other, one by one, has peeled my eyes to the intracacies of the Word. have you ever stopped to consider why luke included the shepherds in his nativity scene? or why matthew's temptation account differs in order from luke's? or why mark didn't narrate the temptation at all? these are just a few of the characteristics of each writer i have been exposed to, and i proclaim in full honesty that i have never before been so intrigued and mystified by the Word of God. and i'm just scratching the surface!
during yesterday's class period, we were once again asked to consider the following question: why did Jesus live? be careful how you answer this. was it just to die? were His thirty-three years just a warming-up act for the end? answering it this way overshadows His ministry, which is detrimental. look at His opening ministry statements found in luke 4. He quotes isaiah 61 and proclaims the good news of the coming of God's kingdom. what He proceeds to do in His lifetime is reflect that kingdom - by healing people physically and spiritually, by acting against exclusion, and by alleviating the suffering of the marginalized. He paints a portrait of what the wholistic view of humanity is. by meeting others' physical and emotional needs, we earn a right to then evangelize. i pray my previous words aren't mistaken for some sort of materialistic social Gospel, but i hope we all begin to understand that people will never hear our words about Christ if they cannot hear over the growling of their stomachs. our professor went on to quote a song from U2 which captures this truth beautifully:

you speak of signs and wonders,

but i need something other.

i would believe if i was able,

but i'm waiting on the crumbs from your table.

what do these words speak into you?

we were then asked to answer this: why did Jesus die? this one's a bit easier for us, i imagine, since it tends to be the focus of what we're instructed from an early age. His triumphant death was the final healing, a culmination of why He lived in the first place. His death has always been a cosmic event, one for the entire creation - of which i am just a small part. i can no longer make His atoning death just about me, for i am only a tiny portion of what this creation is as a whole.

i truly agree with my professor that answering His life question gives me much more responsibility than just focusing on His death does. only answering His death question narrows my evngelism, allowing me to walk away after sharing the Good News without meeting needs or being involved in lives. is this the faith i want? is this the spiritual practice i want to be a part of? i must realize that all of my pretty language about redemption and rescue might not become clear unless i offer up the feast from my table. will you offer up a feast?

we need each other.

yours truly is now a published editorialist in the bison. :-D this might be small potatoes in all actuality, but for now i'm going to relish in having my name printed next to some stuff! last week i wrote this letter to the editor of my university's newspaper in response to some interesting conversations i have both witnessed and been a part of about politics lately. i've become so disappointed, especially with my fellow christian students, in our conduct during this presidential election. i'm sick of being looked at as uninformed and unintelligent simply because my vote will reflect conservative views. [and let me just remind you that it is quite possible for one to come from a small town, know how to shoot a gun, and still hold the title of 'oklahoma academic scholar.'] likewise, i became sick to my stomach as my suite-mate relayed a conversation she had with another student during work. kelly very politely expressed an interest in obama, and one of her co-workers quickly began belittling this decision in a very un-Christlike manner. what is wrong with us? are we not capable of expressing our opinions without intentionally hurting or berating those who do not agree?
phew. my blood pressure's rising just thinking about it all. so, let me leave you with the following paragraphs which explain my feelings about it all in a much calmer tone! [my life of christ professor was pretty proud of it, which is one of the highest compliments i think i could ever receive.] whether or not you agree with mine or anyone else's political views, it's absolutely imperative to treat one another with dignity. we'll all need each other eventually.

---

our nation's upcoming election has sparked numerous conversations between individuals on campus, and i am quickly discovering how such a topic can both unite and divide. i have often heard the term 'conservative' spoken in the same breath as 'ignorant,' as well as many with 'liberal' views being labeled as 'ungodly.' both of these judgments have left me unsettled in the past several weeks, and i hope they unsettle my fellow classmates as well. have we become do engulfed in politics that we would forsake relationships to defend our opinions?
many of us will be exercising our privilege to vote for the first time next week. as newcomers to the polls, i believe we have the power to set a very different precedent for future voting generations. if we all understood it is indeed possible to both disagree with and respect the opinions of others, i can only imagine how improved our treatment to one another might be. throughout this election process, may we not forget that our privilege to vote and speak freely comes second to that of our call to be loving and respectful to one another.

things i've learned lately.

• mike mcclure said it best with "those who know don't say much, and those who don't know talk all the time." who ever said red dirt music isn't philosophical?
• one is never too old to be tucked in at night. =)
• sweet potato butter is one of the greatest things the amish could ever give us.
• purchasing gas for $2.04 per gallon can, in fact, be an adrenaline rush and a cause for celebration.
• my sweet hometown seems to have more of an effect on me now that i'm away than it did when i was growing up. i was so blessed.
• there is no better sound than hearing "you're my best peanut nutters" from my niece, kaitlyn belle. what a wonderful nickname. :]
• the long awaited apology which i was sure would heal my heart for good wasn't nearly as monumental as i had hoped. but i have every reason to believe i will get through this. i will heal.
• my past - and even painful things in the present - can and will be used as a powerful story.
• a little culture would probably do me a world of good, hehe.
• the future seems so exciting to me these days! whether i am thinking about a life overseas or simply planning my class schedule for next spring, i am filled with such a wild hope for the days/months/years to come.
• collecting antique editions of the classics and old cookbooks is apparently a new endeavor of mine! this, combined with my fervor for coupon clipping, driving the speed limit, and going to bed early probably means i'm already a grandma-in-progress.
• i am realizing how unready i really am for many of the things i think i want.
• so many things about me are unique. please understand that i say this not in jest or boasting, but in amazement at His blessing!
• the musical term "recapitulation" intimidates me. thank you, leonard bernstein.
• people always surprise me. this truth can be so humbling.
• dr. thunder really does taste just as good!!

no cussing in holy city!

funny faces, how i love thee.

yesterday was spent with a few of my great loves in the mountains of my upbringing, and i cannot imagine any better saturday. sometimes i wonder if i will ever be able to stay gone from my hometown longer than a few months. it's pretty difficult to resist a meers burger and the wichita's, even in the middle of istanbul or some other exotic place.

as a kid who began the first pages of countless journals with a short, corny autobiography, i can think of no introduction to explain it all these days. because, truth be told, i'm just now starting to have the desire to search and figure it all out for myself. in high school i devoted many an hour to writing online, but college has depleted a great deal of that composing fervor. so who knows, maybe between cramming for civ tests and keeping up with my frantic schedule, this little blog will reclaim its rightful spot in my life. i love sitting down to read over all my old notebooks and scraps of reflection, and i realize how foolish it would be to skip over such an important segment of life by not taking a few minutes to jot some things down. do you ever wish you could chronicle all those moments to one day relive them?

these kids are my world.